Monday, 24 February 2020

Repairing a relationship.

Monday morning again and I am very unwell today. Caught a cold from Jordan and it hit me hard in the head. Blocked sinuses, stuffy head, pressure in my face, the works. Jordan only had his basic cold for a couple of days, whereas I've been dealing with my head cold for four days so far.

But anyway, speaking of Jordan, I figured I'd spend a little time talking about how we're doing. Despite what the title of this post might suggest, our relationship isn't broken but over the last couple of years, it's hit its fair share of bumpy roads. When you've been with someone for a long time, you kind of forget to "date" one another and dating is very important for keeping the relationship fresh and the spark alive. My postnatal depression and Jordan's old job with irregular shifts, put a strain on our relationship and whilst his new job has come with it's own negatives (him working away from home 3 days a week), it's also give us back something we didn't get many of...weekends!

Jordan's hours are set and we finally have weekends back! It's been great not just for family time but our relationship too. Jordan's mum works alternating weekends so now, whenever she's got the weekend off, she watches the kids for a whole day and Jordan and I go out for a date and spend some much needed quality time together. Since Jordan started his new job a little over a month ago (Jan 14), we've been out to dinner together twice, out for coffee/hot chocolates twice and even managed to declutter, repaint/redecorate our bedroom! When he returns from working away on Thursdays, we order pizza in (which isn't great for my diet), snuggle up on the sofa and watch a movie together; and he doesn't fall asleep ten minutes in!!! We're also going away, just the two of us, for the first since we started dating! His 30th birthday is this Friday and we're going to see a performance of Spamalot, have dinner together and spend the night in a hotel with breakfast included. I cannot wait! We knew regular work hours would be super beneficial for family times and making plans to go places and visit people, but we seriously underestimated how much of a positive effect it would have on our relationship. Communication has improved, romance has improved, intimacy has improved and our overall appreciation of one another has also improved, which was surprising for me because we've always appreciated one another and I didnt think that could be improved upon!

We still do have our issues and our ups and downs but what relationship doesn't? However, since Jordan switched to a job with stable hours, our relationship has gotten so much stronger. We're repairing the damage all those bumpy roads had caused and we're a partnership again, not just a long-term relationship. I can't stress enough how important it is to date one another! It doesn't matter how long you've been together, never stop making an effort; never stop dating. I am so happy with where our relationship is right now. People, go out and date!

Until next time,
Alli xo

Sunday, 23 February 2020

Friday, 21 February 2020

Remembering Tim - One Year On.

I'm back again! Just for a short little post as today is the one year anniversary of Vala's grandfathers passing.

It's hard to believe that it has been a whole year, one rotation around the sun, since Tim lost his battle with brain cancer and left this earth. The pain is still so fresh, it doesn't feel as though that much time has passed. I've had a little cry in secret but have not told Vala what today is. For one, I'm not sure she'd fully understand and if she did, I'm not sure I want to inflict that pain and sadness on her again. Jordan thinks I still haven't fully accepted Tim's passing and that, I never really let myself grieve properly. A lot of Tim's sudden diagnosis and passing still hangs heavily over me. He was so healthy and happy and everything changed overnight; it was so sudden. I'm not as healthy as he was and things like my liver problem, scare me more than they previously would have. Tim is always close in my heart, reminding me that life is short and precious and to cherish what time we have on this earth. He was a giant of a man with a heart as big as he was tall. He has left a gaping hole in the hearts of everyone who knew him and life can't be the same without him. We miss him dearly and now, on the first anniversary of his passing, I want to express my love and adoration for my father-in-law. I will always remember him and what he did for me and my family. We'll never stop loving and missing him.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Blessing a nephew

Hello everyone, happy Friday! I am very sorry for how slack I have been with posting regularly. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, because I have, it's just been hard to get me sat down at my pc lately. I put blogging on my to do list every day but then more stuff gets added to the list and it gets pushed further and further down until I have no time left in the day. My last proper post was just after Light Night which was on a Friday but the very next day, we ended up taking a long drive to bless a nephew.

Last year saw the blessing of two of my nieces; Ava and Evangeline, this time we were blessing a nephew, Arthur. We did the two and half hour drive, getting to the chapel in time and the whole blessing took about ten minutes. Two hymns, two prayers, the blessing and we were done. Back in the car we made our way to a pub for a post-blessing family and friends gathering. Vala's dad attended the gathering and nearly got his legs taken off by Vala as she crash tackled him with hugs. He spent the majority of the gathering sitting with Jordan and I; thankfully we've reached an amblicible level we're we can be friendly with one another without any awkwardness. It was a really enjoyable gathering though, everyone had a great time. I appointed myself photographer for the day as I had my camera on me and figured I'd take some happy snaps so that everyone else could enjoy themselves and still have memories to look back on. The blessing and the gathering went off without a hitch and we all had a wonderful day. I loved catching up with family again, as did Vala. It's always lovely seeing her and Flynn playing with their aunts, uncles and cousins. Meant to be heading back to visit family for Ava's first birthday next month and we're already looking forward to that!

Again, I'm sorry for the lack of regular posts lately, I'm going to try and improve on that. I need to get a schedule together again.

...Until next time,
Alli xo
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Sunday, 16 February 2020

Monday, 10 February 2020

Light Night 2020

Happy Monday everyone! Once again I've been slack with my blog posts but we had a very busy weekend so at least it's given me something to write about. I'm also currently writing this on my phone at Jordan's parents house because Jordan accidentally took my house keys and his with him to work today so Flynn and I are currently locked out out house til he returns in a few hours. Thank goodness his mum was actually home today so we could come around.

The first exciting adventure of the weekend was on Friday though and that was Light Night in town. We've attended Light Night every year since 2017 and this was the probably the best year since the first in terms of attractions. There were a lot more light installations spread across the city compared to previous years and both kids were at an age where they could enjoy and appreciate the displays. We did a lot of walking around the city, taking in all the displays. By far our favourite light installations was some musical halo's that played music when you tapped the individual rings. We all had a lot of fun making music and dancing to every one else's music.

There were giant illuminated cubes that Flynn LOVED running around and pressing his face against. There were LED icicles in a graveyard that lit up in time with music. We could walk amongst the icicles with was beautiful, though I did feel weird walking around century old graves. There was music and festivities all over the city and right before we decided to catch the bus home again, we caught a carnival parade passing the bus stop. It was the perfect end to a great night out. Our feet were sore and we were all feeling very tired but it was an incredibly fun and enjoyable night. Definitely an improvement on the last two years thats for sure.

Light Night was just the start of our great weekend but I'll cover the other stuff in another post. Don't want to make this post needlessly long.

Until next time,
Alli xo
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Monday, 3 February 2020

Life's gonna suck for a while

Happy Monday everyone. Hope the Mondayitis blues didn't get to you today. I have had a bit of an unusual day but overall it's been an alright day. Life however is gonna suck for a while and that is because we're taking my diet and lifestyle change a hell of a lot more seriously than in the past.

When trying to lose weight, I've always gone in only 50% committed because I didn't want my journey to negatively effect my family. Since having postnatal depression, I have always dealt with my negative emotions through comfort eating; that's the first thing that's going to change. It's also what I'm most worried about at this time. I would comfort eat to make it easier for me to cope; so I wouldn't snap at the kids or Jordan. When things get tough now, I have to find a new, healthier way of coping with my negative emotions and until I find something to replace sugar that helps, I know I'm going to become a dragon mummy/partner. I know I'll have more mental break downs and I know I'll become a generally angrier person for a while. Admittedly, I have a sugar addiction and the first month or so is going to be detoxing off sugar. We've set some ground rules for me and have written a list of bad foods I can't have for at least six months (all foods I can easily live without like cake and ice-cream) as well as some bad food that I can only sometimes have ie. chocolate.

I'll be honest, I'm more scared about this lifestyle change because this time I'm taking it 100% serious and I'm scared of the horrible dragon person I'll become for a while. I know you might think I'm overreacting a bit and that I'm thinking it's going to be worse than it will be but I remember exactly how bad I got during my postnatal depression. The comfort eating started because of how bad things got for my mental state. Obviously, I'll be doing more than just dieting and exercising, I'll be working on my mental health as well. I've been saying for so long that I want to develop a self-care routine and now I really will.

I might be scared of what's to come but I'm also excited for the change. Unlike every other time, I've got Jordan being a hard arse for me. He is a text book people pleaser and an enabler. He always just wants to see me happy and if I'm not doing well mentally and ask for chocolate or take out or whatever else, he has always given it to me to cheer me up. I've told him not to do that anymore and instead help me find other ways to cope. He knows I'm going to be hard to live with for a while but keeps telling me short term pain for long term gain; that the pros outweigh the cons. He has always been my biggest supporter and now he is really on my side! No more Mr Enabler!

Life is gonna suck for a while as I get over my sugar addiction and work on losing weight and improving my overall health and lifestyle but it will so be worth it in the end. I know it will.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Sunday, 2 February 2020