Saturday, 11 January 2020

Back to reality....mostly.

Happy very late Saturday everyone. Or early Sunday... you know, depending on where you are in the world and what day/time you actually see this mostly pointless entry. It is after 10pm on Saturday currently and I'm only just getting around to writing the post that should have come out yesterday. We were out all of yesterday and then I was pretty worn out by the time we got home. Similarly today, was out for a bit and came home drained.

Things have returned to "normal" now; mostly. Reality has settled in after the festive holiday season but I think it's going to give us a double dose come Tuesday when Jordan starts his new job and will spend his first night away from home. That will be a sobering reality that neither Jordan nor I are ready for. The kids don't understand yet but I think Tuesday will come as quite a shock to them. They've had Jordan home full time since the 4th and then 10 days later they'll wake up and not only will he be gone but he also won't return until around their bedtime on Wednesday. It's going to be a huge adjustment for all of us. Jordan's currently compiling a list of tv shows to binge and books to read and I'm looking at ways to entertain myself after the kids have gone to bed and the house is super quiet. I mean, it won't be that much different from when Vala and I lived alone and she would spend weekends at her dads, leaving me in the silent house on my own. Trouble is, back then, her absence left me so depressed, that I would get drunk and just dance around in my underwear until I passed out. It wasn't a good time in my life and now I can't and don't want to get drunk to ease my loneliness. I know I'll be fine, it'll just be an adjustment that'll take a little bit of time. We struggled a little when Jordan moved from part time shifts down at the store to full time shifts at their head office but we adapted to it. This will be the same. It's just, since we' moved in together three years ago, we've only ever spent a single night apart and that was the night Flynn was born and I had to stay in the hospital overnight. It wasn't that big a deal because he stayed with me as long as he could and then returned early the next morning. This time, he'll be gone even before I'm awake and I won't see him for about 36 hours and will not be able to speak to him until the evening. It's going to be weird. Anyway, I know I'm just rambling about this change but honestly, it's the biggest thing going on with us at the moment. The closer we get to the 14th, the more Jordan and I start to feel a teeny bit anxious. It's a big, much needed change for our family but neither of us are looking forward to it at all.

Besides Jordan's fast approaching first day, Vala has also returned to school and started back at swimming lessons this morning. We've been trying to get back into the swing of things and our usual routines whilst making some much needed changes to improve my health and to lose weight. I won't touch of any of that tonight though. Everything that's going on with my weight is an entirely different post that I'll try to get out on Monday. I will say though, my weight and my attempts to lose it, is causing me a whole lot of emotional problems at the moment. More on that at a later date though.

Until next time,
Alli xo


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