Thursday, 19 December 2019

The House Drama.

Hey everyone, Happy Thursday! Sorry for the late post but yesterday was hectic. For a few weeks though, I've been promising to talk about the house drama that went down over my birthday and caused quite a lot of stress and arguments within our family and with Jordan's parents. Finally, I'm going to tell you all about it.

It started off on November 8th. Vala was at school, Jordan and I were out in the car running errands and Flynn was fast asleep in the backseat. We were sitting in a car park ready to leave for home when Jordan's mum called. She had a bombshell to drop on us. The house behind theirs had come up for sale and was stupidly underpriced. She was ringing to tell us that her and Jordan's step-dad had made an offer on the house for us! At first we were livid because they hadn't even consulted us on this life changing decision but then we saw the house and our anger dissipated. The house was perfect! Everything we could want in a house was in this house and whilst we were still a little miffed they'd gone and done this without even talking to us first, we were very grateful that they had made an offer. The next week was torture waiting to hearing back. We found on the 16th that their offer had been rejected and that the seller had gone with someone else. It was pretty devastating. However, on the same day as the rejection, Jordan's parents had seen another house to make an offer on. This one was not perfect; far from. It was so far from school, well outside the catchment area and it needed a lot of work doing to it. Jordan went with them to view the house on the 17th but I didn't because I already said no to it. Jordan agreed with me we asked that his parents don't make an offer on the house. This pissed them off. We got a bit of abuse from them saying "beggars can't be choosers" and "you'll never get a house without our help." It was infuriating! We didn't ask for them to help at all, they just dropped it on us 9 days earlier. I thought if we started looking at houses ourselves and presented ones we liked to them, they'd get over us rejecting the second house. But we were in for a shock and a whirlwind of s**t.

Another house went up for sale on the exact same street as the first house and was almost identical in every way. It just needed quite a bit of work doing to it but it was up at the same price as the first house. I told Jordan's mum about the house and she dismissed it. I was confused but two days later we learned why. Despite us rejecting the second house, Jordan's step-dad went and made an offer anyway. Not only did he make an offer but his offer was immediately accepted! He saw it as an investment opportunity. He was going to fix it up and flip it for profit. This meant the money they were going to use to help us get a house was gone. When Jordan's mum learned of what her husband had done, they got into a huge fight and in the end, he pulled out of the sale on the house. The estate agent was angry with him pulling out and that only made Jordan's step-dad angrier. He didn't speak to Jordan's mum for two whole weeks! During this time, Jordan and I didn't know what was going on. Jordan's mum kept telling us we HAD to get out of our current place and that because of their age they won't be able to help us with a mortgage for much longer. So we kept looking for houses and sending links to houses we liked to her but her husband was no longer interested in helping. His offer to help us had been withdrawn. So exactly one month after they dropped the bombshell on us that they were about to buy us a house without even talking to us, they did a 180 and we were left standing here with our hopes and stress levels up with a door slammed in our faces. It had been drilled into us that we will never be able to buy a place without their help and now their help is gone. It has been really hard to deal with.

I'd like to make it clear that we never asked for them to buy us a house. At the start of the year we had, had a conversation with them (bought up by them) about them working with us to buy a house but that deal was them helping us by going in for a joint mortgage with Jordan not them buying the house for us. I'm a stay-at-home mum so we all agreed the best chance of us getting a decent mortgage was for Jordan to get a better paying job (which he is still trying to do) and for them to go in on the mortgage with him. So, to help, I started putting money aside for a deposit. Jordan and I hadn't been looking at houses or even talking about them because we figured it'd be a couple more years before we were in the position to and then suddenly, out of nowhere, his parents just went and did everything without us. Of course we want a forever home for our family so we didn't want to seem ungrateful or fight them on their help; we just wanted a say on where we would end up living. It was only the second house we'd seen (technically the first house we'd been given a say on) and because we said "no, it's not right for our family", all hell broke loose. Jordan's parents were fighting amongst themselves and Jordan and I had multiple massive fights too. Jordan was taking his parents side of "beggars can't be choosers" and felt we should've just accepted the house because they were the ones buying it but I was doing what I felt was best for the kids. Vala might have had to change school because of the location of the house. Flynn definitely wouldn't have gotten into the school. I didn't want to uproot Vala and take her away from her friends so I said no. We fought about it because he was convinced we could make it work and argued that there was no guarantee that Vala would have to move. It was a risk I didn't want to take. After three or four massive fights, one of which that nearly split us up (because I felt he didn't have the best interests of our family at heart) he finally started seeing things my way. He looked into school catchments and realised I'd been right to be cautious. He agreed I made the right decision by saying no and that he knew the house wasn't right for us; he just didn't want to upset his parents.

The whole ordeal only lasted a month but it drove such a wedge not only between us and Jordan's parents but between his parents and between us as well. Of course we're devastated that they're now not going to help us at all with buying a place but we're hoping with time, we'll be able to get them back on board with our original agreement of them doing a joint mortgage with Jordan (essentially as guarantors). So that's the whole house drama in as much of a nutshell as I can put it. We've stopped looking at houses and finally Jordan's mum has stopped telling us that we HAVE to move. Things appear to have gone back to how they were before Nov 8th but our relationships are still healing. The ordeal may have bought Jordan and I to breaking point but it has also bought us closer together. We always come out stronger in the end. We're just ready for this year to be over with so we could finally put this whole drama behind us for good.

Until next time,
Alli xo

2 comments:

  1. Oh jeez! Red flags everywhere. I'd be very cautious going forward with them if they suddenly change there mind. You dont want them holding control over your family. Bit of manipulation and pettiness going on. I know at the moment you feel you'll never be able to buy a house on your own, but you just never know of the future. It's very generous that Jordan's parents have offered to do that, but sounds like it comes with a price. I'm glad you managed to pull through as a couple, it sounds incredibly stressful

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  2. Oh I hope you had a great christmas!

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