Thursday, 19 December 2019

The House Drama.

Hey everyone, Happy Thursday! Sorry for the late post but yesterday was hectic. For a few weeks though, I've been promising to talk about the house drama that went down over my birthday and caused quite a lot of stress and arguments within our family and with Jordan's parents. Finally, I'm going to tell you all about it.

It started off on November 8th. Vala was at school, Jordan and I were out in the car running errands and Flynn was fast asleep in the backseat. We were sitting in a car park ready to leave for home when Jordan's mum called. She had a bombshell to drop on us. The house behind theirs had come up for sale and was stupidly underpriced. She was ringing to tell us that her and Jordan's step-dad had made an offer on the house for us! At first we were livid because they hadn't even consulted us on this life changing decision but then we saw the house and our anger dissipated. The house was perfect! Everything we could want in a house was in this house and whilst we were still a little miffed they'd gone and done this without even talking to us first, we were very grateful that they had made an offer. The next week was torture waiting to hearing back. We found on the 16th that their offer had been rejected and that the seller had gone with someone else. It was pretty devastating. However, on the same day as the rejection, Jordan's parents had seen another house to make an offer on. This one was not perfect; far from. It was so far from school, well outside the catchment area and it needed a lot of work doing to it. Jordan went with them to view the house on the 17th but I didn't because I already said no to it. Jordan agreed with me we asked that his parents don't make an offer on the house. This pissed them off. We got a bit of abuse from them saying "beggars can't be choosers" and "you'll never get a house without our help." It was infuriating! We didn't ask for them to help at all, they just dropped it on us 9 days earlier. I thought if we started looking at houses ourselves and presented ones we liked to them, they'd get over us rejecting the second house. But we were in for a shock and a whirlwind of s**t.

Another house went up for sale on the exact same street as the first house and was almost identical in every way. It just needed quite a bit of work doing to it but it was up at the same price as the first house. I told Jordan's mum about the house and she dismissed it. I was confused but two days later we learned why. Despite us rejecting the second house, Jordan's step-dad went and made an offer anyway. Not only did he make an offer but his offer was immediately accepted! He saw it as an investment opportunity. He was going to fix it up and flip it for profit. This meant the money they were going to use to help us get a house was gone. When Jordan's mum learned of what her husband had done, they got into a huge fight and in the end, he pulled out of the sale on the house. The estate agent was angry with him pulling out and that only made Jordan's step-dad angrier. He didn't speak to Jordan's mum for two whole weeks! During this time, Jordan and I didn't know what was going on. Jordan's mum kept telling us we HAD to get out of our current place and that because of their age they won't be able to help us with a mortgage for much longer. So we kept looking for houses and sending links to houses we liked to her but her husband was no longer interested in helping. His offer to help us had been withdrawn. So exactly one month after they dropped the bombshell on us that they were about to buy us a house without even talking to us, they did a 180 and we were left standing here with our hopes and stress levels up with a door slammed in our faces. It had been drilled into us that we will never be able to buy a place without their help and now their help is gone. It has been really hard to deal with.

I'd like to make it clear that we never asked for them to buy us a house. At the start of the year we had, had a conversation with them (bought up by them) about them working with us to buy a house but that deal was them helping us by going in for a joint mortgage with Jordan not them buying the house for us. I'm a stay-at-home mum so we all agreed the best chance of us getting a decent mortgage was for Jordan to get a better paying job (which he is still trying to do) and for them to go in on the mortgage with him. So, to help, I started putting money aside for a deposit. Jordan and I hadn't been looking at houses or even talking about them because we figured it'd be a couple more years before we were in the position to and then suddenly, out of nowhere, his parents just went and did everything without us. Of course we want a forever home for our family so we didn't want to seem ungrateful or fight them on their help; we just wanted a say on where we would end up living. It was only the second house we'd seen (technically the first house we'd been given a say on) and because we said "no, it's not right for our family", all hell broke loose. Jordan's parents were fighting amongst themselves and Jordan and I had multiple massive fights too. Jordan was taking his parents side of "beggars can't be choosers" and felt we should've just accepted the house because they were the ones buying it but I was doing what I felt was best for the kids. Vala might have had to change school because of the location of the house. Flynn definitely wouldn't have gotten into the school. I didn't want to uproot Vala and take her away from her friends so I said no. We fought about it because he was convinced we could make it work and argued that there was no guarantee that Vala would have to move. It was a risk I didn't want to take. After three or four massive fights, one of which that nearly split us up (because I felt he didn't have the best interests of our family at heart) he finally started seeing things my way. He looked into school catchments and realised I'd been right to be cautious. He agreed I made the right decision by saying no and that he knew the house wasn't right for us; he just didn't want to upset his parents.

The whole ordeal only lasted a month but it drove such a wedge not only between us and Jordan's parents but between his parents and between us as well. Of course we're devastated that they're now not going to help us at all with buying a place but we're hoping with time, we'll be able to get them back on board with our original agreement of them doing a joint mortgage with Jordan (essentially as guarantors). So that's the whole house drama in as much of a nutshell as I can put it. We've stopped looking at houses and finally Jordan's mum has stopped telling us that we HAVE to move. Things appear to have gone back to how they were before Nov 8th but our relationships are still healing. The ordeal may have bought Jordan and I to breaking point but it has also bought us closer together. We always come out stronger in the end. We're just ready for this year to be over with so we could finally put this whole drama behind us for good.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Monday, 16 December 2019

My Diagnosis.

Happy Monday everyone! It's a chilly one today so I hope you're all keeping warm. I mentioned the other day that I had to have my annual blood test to check for type 2 diabetes (due to have gestational diabetes with Flynn) and that the doctor requested an appointment to discuss my results. I was worried that meant my results came back positive. Well, I had my appointment on Friday and....

...I DON'T have type 2 diabetes! According to my results, my haemoglobin was 34 mmol/mol and anything under 42 mmol/mol is considered to be non-diabetic. So I was well under which was a huge relief. But why did the doctor request to see me if the results were negative? Well, that is because they also did a liver function test on my bloods, which wasn't part of the screening last year and as it turns out, my liver isn't doing ok. Whilst I don't understand all the number mumbo jumbo, my results read...

AST serum level 45 u/L [0.0 -30.0]
Above high reference limit
Serum alanine aminotransferase level 85 u/L [0/0-35.0]
Above high reference limit

So again, I don't understand exactly what that means but I don't have to be a doctor to know that those numbers are a lot higher than they should be. The doctor (and I) suspects the cause is by too much fat in and around my liver, which is a very fair assumption given my weight. However, procedure dictates that we do more tests to rule out any other possibilities. So, on Christmas Eve I am having a second round of blood tests. This time they'll be testing for liver disease and Hepatitis. The thought of being tested for those did scare me at first but I know both are unlikely. My bloods were clear of Hepatitis when I was tested during my pregnancy with both kids and my blood has not come into contact with anyone else's blood since Flynn was born so it's extremely unlikely that I'll have Hepatitis. I obviously can't say much on the liver disease but again, the doctor says it's unlikely. I am extremely overweight and the likely cause is NAFLD (Non-Alcohol Fatty Liver Disease) also known as Fatty Liver. Along with my blood test, I also have to have a scan of my liver to check the condition of it; how much fat is in my liver and is there any scarring? I don't have a date for the ultrasound yet but I'm going to assume either after christmas or in the new year.

Either way, the solution to my liver issue is pretty much just lifestyle change. I need to be more active and eat a more healthy diet and with time, my liver will start to repair itself. Livers a great like that aren't they. Everything I've read has said losing roughly 10% of your body weight can be enough for your liver to recover and that's my first goal for the new year. I've been banging on for multiple years now about how badly I want to lose weight but I always give up and fall back into old habits. Well, now I actually have a serious reason to lose the weight. If I don't, my liver will only get worse and my chances of developing type 2 diabetes greatly increases. So losing 10% of my body weight is my first weight loss goal. Surprisingly, that's actually less than what my first weight loss goal was, the last time I tried to diet. It is totally doable and I'm more determined than ever to lose this damn weight. I've started making plans and hope to start a new diet and lifestyle change in the new year. I want to start now and to extent, I have started making some changes, but I want to wait for the rest of the test results and to see what the doctor says before I commit to any major changes.

I'm excited to make this change, I just wish I was making it under less serious circumstances.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Sunday, 15 December 2019

Friday, 13 December 2019

Vala's 6th Birthday

Happy Friday everyone! Hope the week has treated everyone well. I'm getting this post out before a doctor's appointment today that is more than likely going to bring bad news so look out for what that's all about probably on Monday. Until then, despite it being closer to Flynn's birthday now, I'm going to talk about Vala's 6th birthday.

Unlike my birthday, which was overshadowed by family/house drama (which I AM going to write a post about I promise!) Vala's birthday was a big success. We celebrated her party the day before her actual birthday with her and her four closest friends all getting pampered and glitterfied at a local beauty salon. Vala has become a teeny bit obsessed with having her nails painted and her hair done. Shame I don't know how to do anymore than a basic ponytail. So instead of a typical six year olds party where we go to another soft play centre or wherever, we decided she could go somewhere where she and her friends could be pampered. We ended up at a place called Beauty Temple and the staff there were so lovely and accommodating to Vala and her friends. The girls had their hair braided and glittered, their nails painted and their faces glitterfied. They all looked so beautiful and sparkled like crazy. One of Vala's friends had gold glitter put in her hair and as she walked, glitter trickled off her and she left a trail of sparkles behind her. The whole party lasted a total of 45 minutes though which is much shorted than a normal party. I also wasn't allowed to bring any food in with me but the girls got complimentary cupcakes and mocktails during their treatments. After the pampering was done, I took a few of the girls around the corner to KFC for a late lunch. It wasn't the most special of places to take a group of girls that we're all sparkled up but they still enjoyed themselves anyway. In total, the party lasted a little over an hour and a half which wasn't too bad. The girls loved their make overs so much that none of them wanted to take their glitter off. Like Vala, all the girls slept in their braids and glitter overnight.

That lead us to Vala's actual birthday. She woke up with her braid still mostly in tact but a little messy and half her face glitter missing. Her bed was super sparkly though. We did have a minor upset in the morning however as Vala snuck out of her bedroom while daddy, Flynn and myself were still sleeping and she slightly opened all her presents so she could see what was inside. I was not happy at all. I'd waited months to see her reaction to these presents and she went and opened them without us. She was apologetic but it makes me worry about what she'll do Christmas morning. We managed to get that negative moment behind us though and I surprised Vala with a trip to the cinema where we watched Frozen 2. She absolutely loved it! I did as well. Word of warning, if you're an emotional sap like I am, take tissues with you if you're going to see it. The cinema was packed but we still managed to end up with some of the best seats in the place. We had a great time. We had dinner at home as Vala wanted her favourite dinner.... pasta with (pasta) sauce. She hates meat with her pasta so we literally just cook some pasta and coat it with Dolmio. It's not the greatest meal ever but it's her favourite and it's what she wanted. Overall, the day went really well. Vala loved her presents and her Frozen surprise. She had a great weekend and it made us so happy to see her happy.

Now with mine and Vala's birthdays out the way, we've got Flynn's to focus on in a week. So many birthdays, so little time.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Wednesday, 11 December 2019

4 Year Anniversary Drama

Happy Hump Day evening. Hope the week is treating you all well. Mine was supposed to start off on a high but instead started off very badly.

Monday wad mine and Jordan's 4 year anniversary, a huge milestone for me! I've never had a relationship, not even my marriage, make it to four years. Somewhere between three and four years, my relationships have always fallen apart, so the fact we made it to four years, despite how much crap we've gone through in the last year, says a lot about our relationship and what Jordan means to me. He was working early on Monday so was gone before I even woke up but all weekend he had teased me that he had a surprise planned for me and that it'd be waiting for me when I woke up. I didn't have much time in the morning though as I had to do the school run and go shopping but I had a quick look around before leaving the house. I couldn't find anything. So while I was at the supermarket, I messaged him and asked for a hint as to what I was looking for. Two minutes before I arrived home, he text back... there was no surprise waiting for me. The "thing" he'd been planning and teasing me about never actually got done so he had nothing for me for our anniversary. I was crushed and sat at home with a tantruming Flynn, holding Jordan's anniversary present in my lap.

Turns out his surprise was going to be a scavenger hunt that eventually lead me to a video of him pouring his heart out, telling me all the reasons he loved me and how much I meant to him. Jordan is notoriously bad at communicating his feelings so that video would've been so special. I don't know what hurt more, the lack of an anniversary surprise or knowing what I would've been getting and that I'd never get to see it. I went from sad angry. I'd bought Jordan a thoughtful gift back in June and had planned well in advance for our anniversary. He didn't plan anything until a few days before and then didn't actually carry out his plan. I felt like the anniversary only meant something to me. Some people thought I was overreacting by being so angry/upset but the day was important to me. I didn't even get a card. Jordan came home from work, did the kids dinner and then at 9:30pm we ate take out separately. I was still so angry and hurt that for the first time ever, I made him sleep out on the sofa. I've never made a partner sleep on the sofa so it showed how upset I actually was.

He was gone before I woke the next day, another early shift but he felt so guilty that he ended up buying me two tickets to see Postmodern Jukebox in September. I had been planning on buying us tickets when I got paid so he beat me to it. Of course I accepted the gift but told him it didn't make things better. Buying me something I was going to buy myself out of guilt, wasn't going to fix how upsetting our anniversary was. Things are still a bit bleh but we're hoping to get at for a belated anniversary dinner at some point when we get a babysitter for the kids. Here's hoping he doesn't "forget" or anniversary next year haha.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Monday, 9 December 2019

My 29th Birthday

Howdy hey! Happy Monday everyone! Thought I'd start today by travelling back to last month and talking about what I did for my 29th birthday. Today is actually mine and Jordan's 4 year anniversary but as the day has only just begun and we've not done anything yet, I'll save that for another post.

So yeah, my birthday... wish I could say it was enjoyable but it was overshadowed by house drama, which again, I'll cover in another post. It was an extremely stressful week but I did still have some good moments. Jordan and the kids got me some lovely presents (a necklace and a Friends book). Vala was at school but that didn't stop us going out for a bit. I went and got my hair cut and eyebrows waxed. I'd planned on getting my nails done too but ran outta time before school pick up. We then went out for hot chocolates and toasties after school pick up and in the evening, Jordan cooked my favourite dinner; Butter Chicken!

The next night, we left the kids for a sleepover with Jordan's parents, got bad news on the house front, and went out for dinner and drinks with my best friend Adam and his girlfriend Emily. Dinner was incredible! I had a bratwurst in a brioche hot dog bun covered in pulled pork and jack cheese. It was amazing! I'm salivating just thinking about it. We had cocktail after cocktail and the night was mostly alright. The house drama weighed over Jordan and I and whilst the plan was to get me drunk, instead I went home sober with a very drunk Jordan. I had wanted to get drunk but didn't mind that I didn't. Cocktails don't tend to get me that tipsy. I still drank a lot that night.

So yeah, that was pretty much my birthday. We had what fun we could have with the drama that was going on but all in all, it wasn't the worst birthday I've ever had.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Sunday, 8 December 2019

Friday, 6 December 2019

I went afk again.

Hello everyone! Happy Friday! I am so sorry but I did it again...I went afk for a while. A lot has happened since I last blogged but there has also been A LOT of drama as well which has really triggered my mood into a downward spiral. I won't talk about everything in great length in the post, I'll elaborate in other posts but to summarize...

... I had a birthday, I'm now 25 and 48 months! Aka 29 years old! Vala also had a birthday and is now a big 6 year old. We had a great party and magical birthday for her. We have had major house drama! Jordan's in-laws didn't just offer to help us buy a place, they literally gave us no choice and then poop hit the fan when we tried to have an opinion on the matter. There's a lot to that story. I had my annual blood test ti check for type 2 diabetes (which I have to have done due to having gestational diabetes with Flynn). Unfortunately, the gp has arranged an appointment with me to discuss my results; something they only usually do if the results are positive. My appointment is next week but I'm expecting life changing bad news. The drama and potential bad news has broken me and I've fallen back into a depressed state; we're hoping to get me into CBT in the future. Vala also had her christmas play and we attended the blessings of two of my beautiful nieces.

So, lots of good and bad things have happened in less than a month. It's been extremely overwhelming. I'll break diem most of these into separate posts as there's a lot to unpack here. Still to come, we've got mine and Jordan's anniversary,  Flynn's 2nd birthday, Christmas and of course my traditional New Years Resolution post. I think 2019 is going to end on a rocky, low point but 2020 has the potential for some massive changes for myself and my family. All we can do is wait and see.

Until next time,
Alli x