Friday, 13 September 2019

What happened to my novel?

Hey everyone! Happy Friday the thirteenth! Ooh spooky! ... Anyway, last post I very briefly mentioned that I've not really been working on my novel and that I wanted to address the reason for that. Well, this is probably the main reason why...

...After I finished my first draft, I sent three chapter chunks to a small group of people, whom I trust, to be my alpha readers and to give me constructive feedback. I didn't send my work to anyone who didn't offer to read through it, I want to make it clear that I didn't force my work onto anyone. Anyway, I said I wouldn't start work on the second draft until I'd received everyone's feedback. A couple months went passed and no one had written back to me. I chased it up saying I was hoping to start work on the second draft soon and some said they were almost done and enjoying what they'd read so far. So I continued to wait. It's now been over six months since I sent five people my work and not one of them has given me any feedback. I didn't want to chase it up again because one, I really hate confrontation and two, because honestly I didn't believe any of them had actually read my work. This thought has really caused me to lose all motivation to keep writing. If five of my trusted friends cant even read three chapters of my work or haven't wanted to, why would anyone read all twelve chapters? (Fourteen if we include epilogue and prologue.)

I don't want to say I've given up on my novel but it's so hard to push myself to continue it when I feel like no one cares anymore. I set out to write this for Vala and then Flynn as well but now I feel that if no one else has any interest in reading it, why bother finishing it at all? I could just read the first draft to my kids and they'd be happy with it. They wouldn't know or understand it was an unfinished manuscript. I need a reason to keep writing it but right now, I can't find one. I've have several people, who weren't alpha readers, say they want to buy my book when I've finished it, to show their support but I don't want people to just buy my book because they know the person who wrote it; I want them to buy it because they have a genuine interest in reading it. Honestly, I don't think any of them would actually buy it anyway. I think it's probably more likely that they said it to motivate me but now even that isn't a motivator.

My readers not getting back to me has really knocked me back. I know everyone has lives and we're all busy but it's been over six months and the chapters weren't that long. I'd rather they just be honest and say they've not read it rather than keep me waiting in the dark for feedback that'll never come. This is why my novel hasn't progressed and why my enthusiasm to write has diminished. I hope to one day work on it again but I honestly don't know if/when that day will ever come. Now you know why.

Until next time,
Alli xo

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