Wednesday, 6 March 2019

Weight-Loss Journey: 2 Months In.

It's Wednesday. It's March. That must mean I'm two months into my weight-loss journey right? Wrong! Well technically, yes but also wrong. I've snuffed it again. Ever since my (ex-)father-in-law passed away, I haven't done a single thing to help myself lose weight. In fact, I have literally done the opposite.

For the first couple of days after Tim's passing, I was straight up comfort eating. I didn't know how else to cope in that time. Since then however, I haven't been able to resume my weight-loss plans. I'm still in the denial stage of grief at the moment and I'm hoping that the funeral tomorrow will give me the closure I need. We all knew Tim didn't have long left but the last time I saw him he was happy, albeit very tired, he held Flynn and had lengthy conversations with us etc, that it's just hard for me to accept that he went from that to now gone forever. I still hear his voice in my head. Just phrases he used to say and him talking about driving and how bad traffic can be (which was always the conversation starter he'd have with Jordan). Every time his voice pops into my head, the pain returns to my heart and I end up comfort eating. Nothing triggers the voice, just occasionally it's there. It's my brain not accepting reality and that's why I feel tomorrow is so important to help me get the closure I need. I'm hoping that once I have gone through the final stage of grief, acceptance, that I'll finally be able to get back on track with things like my weight-loss journey. I've not weighed myself in two weeks but I know I've put on weight. I've not exercised since the day before Tim's passing and the amount of chocolate I've comfort ate will definitely be getting snug around my thighs right about now. 

Need to get back on track but I need to sort out these other issues first. Need to finish grieving and then I can finally move on. Hopefully next month I'll be able to provide a more positive weight loss update. 

Until next time,
Alli xo 

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