Monday, 18 March 2019

Change is hard.

Happy Monday afternoon everyone. Sorry for the lack of a Friday post but I am currently recovering from a bit of a head cold that knocked me out from Thursday night to Sunday. I still feel a little groggy but well enough to try phase two of changing my lifestyle: adjusting my sleep schedule/creating a morning routine.

And as the title probably gives away, I am struggling already. I went to bed before midnight last night, set my alarm for 7am and then proceeded to toss and turn for a good couple of hours. I did however, force myself out of bed at 7:05am today. I usually get up at 7:45am on a school day but my plan today was to allow myself 30-45 minutes of me time before getting the kids up. I wanted to be able to sit down and eat breakfast calmly with a cup of coffee while writing out a daily to do list and then wash my face and do things that normally happen after the school run. But, the kids that I usually have to rouse at 7:45am decided that mummy getting out of bed 40 minutes early meant they were allowed to be very bright eyed and bushy tailed. I spent my morning trying to navigate around Jordan as he took care of the kids breakfasts and dishes and ended up drinking half my coffee to the sounds of Vala singing Let It Go from the top of her lungs whilst intermittently trying to whistle. My morning wasn't calm or relaxing and nothing about it was "me time".

I did manage to get stuff for myself done though. First thing I did after waking was drink a cold glass of water, take my multivitamin and properly wash and moisturize my face. Then I ate breakfast and had half the coffee before getting Vala ready for school. Once she was ready and Jordan was dressing Flynn, I got dressed, brushed my teeth, hair and even put on a little bit of make up. I wanted to feel good about spending time getting myself ready for the day but when I looked in the mirror before leaving, I felt like it was all for nothing. I had still broken out into a sweat and despite washing, moisturizing and making my face up, I still looked like a tired, haggered mess. Even my hair which I spent more than 30 seconds on, looked as though I'd just hauled my arse outta bed. I looked no different or better than when I rush to get myself ready in the last 5 minutes before the school run. It felt like a waste of time that I could've spent sleeping. Especially since I ended up being more stressed than normal as well. But at least I'd done enough to ensure myself lots of energy right? Wrong. Despite the multivitamin, the cup of coffee and the protein porridge giving me a good start to the day, by 10:45am (15 mins after we put Flynn down for his morning nap) I was a zombie and fell asleep sitting up on the sofa. I tried so hard to stay awake but by 11:30am I gave up and went back to bed for a nap. Flynn woke up at 1:20pm and whilst I'm grateful for the nap, I still feel drained and exhausted. Changing my routine is going to take a ridiculously long time, especially when trying to change it to improve myself, I still have to work it around Jordan and the kids.

So long story short, I attempted to give myself 30-45 minutes of me time this morning, as a start of a new morning routine but my, usually hard to wake kids, decided that even early in the morning, mummy isn't allowed any quiet time to herself. Thanks fam.

I'm now going to end this pointless, rant filled post and force some lunch into me. I'm not hungry and it's later than I'd normally eat lunch but everything is outta whack today so whatever.

Until next time,
Alli xo


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