Monday, 4 March 2019

Adulting!

Monday is here again and as I touched on in my last post, so is March which means I'm ready for life to change...again. With everything that went on last month, I found myself feeling quite immature and basically not much like an adult. I kept saying that I needed to get better at "adulting". What is adulting though? Well according to Urban Dictionary...

fake word used by idiots (millennials mainly), in an attempt to turn the adjective adult into a verb in a feeble attempt to describe if a person is actually an adult or behaves in an adult manner and thus doing the things any responsible adult with an average or above IQ can handle.

So yeah, straight off the bat I am proving my immaturity and apparently idiocy by simply using the term adulting. Screw it, I'm immature and I'm going to keep using the word, don't @ me bro.

I have been thinking though, what really constitutes being an adult or adulting? Well, I've narrowed it down to three categories and I'm setting myself little goals to try and achieve things from each of the categories. Category one...

Financial responsibility.

Ok, probably starting off with the most obvious one here but whatever. Taking care of your finances and being financially responsible is probably the most grown up and mature thing you can do right? Budgeting your earnings and your expenses and trying to save money for important things is a big step for people moving out of their adolescence and into their twenties. I should have been a lot more financially responsible than I have been up until this point. I admit, I'm bad at saving, I splurge on unnecessary crap and I spend way too much money on eating out/ordering in. However, I am trying to get better. The only good thing I've done with my finances for years is that I have always paid my bills on time. Proud to say that I have never had a single late bill. Small victories right? I still have credit card debt though and struggle to save money but I'm working on it. In January I started a proper budget though, created a "Help to Save" account and also set aside a second savings account which I've managed to keep a little bit of money in. The help to save account is to help us save for our first home whereas the second account is for things like the wedding, a family holiday or sudden expensive emergencies like the car breaking down for example. There isn't much in it yet but with my new budget, I should hopefully be able to get more money in there and keep it in there.

Healthy living. 

The second thing I have classed as a category of adulting is healthy living. This includes a range of basic things like: having a proper routine, eating right, drinking plenty of water, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, getting organised etc etc. This is just general day to day stuff but as teens, we tend to throw caution to the wind and neglect our physical health. I for one know that I was terrible as a teen; staying up all night playing video games and chugging down multiple cans of energy drinks and alcohol. Sadly, some of those habits have been hard to shake. I have always been a night owl and shamefully still stay up until at least 2am playing video games. (I don't chug down copious amounts of energy drinks and alcohol now though thankfully.) I do wish I was more of a morning person but I just love the night too much. Every time I try and go to bed at a normal, before midnight time, I always feel like I'm missing out on fun and I can't actually get to sleep. However, I am also trying to get into a better routine. If I'm going to be a night owl, then fine, maybe there are some things that I can't change but I can at least try and improve. So I'm trying to force myself to bed at midnight instead of 2am. Once I manage that I want to change my morning alarm from 7:30am to 7am instead. In that extra 30 mins in the morning I'm hoping to create a proper morning routine that allows me time to have breakfast before school, wash my face, actually brush my teeth and generally get a bunch of basic things done that I don't usually do until after Vala has gone to school. I'm hoping once I manage to get into a proper sleep routine of 12am-7am that the 7 hours of sleep will help me get through the day without the need for a nap and that hopefully my energy and productivity levels will start to improve, therefore improving my overall physical, mental and emotional health. Other people my age can do it so why are Jordan and I still stuck in our teenage years and struggling to take proper care of ourselves? Self care is important and yet I suck at it!

Looking the part.

My third category is of simple vanity . One thing that I have observed from adults and teens is that there are obvious visual differences in the way they present themselves and their homes. Teens are more likely to go out without brushing their hair, wearing ripped clothes that they've worn for 3 consecutive days whereas adults (with the exception of most stay-at-home parents) tend to be more groomed with clean clothes that get washed after just one use. That isn't always the way of course but it is more common for adults to be seen as more presentable than teens. The same goes for their environment. Teens will have messy bedrooms, clothes all over the place, maybe some rubbish lying about as well whereas adults tend to be good at general cleaning and keeping their homes looking neat and tidy. Yeah, Jordan and I are not those kinds of adults. Our house is always a mess, even when we clean it. Our bed is never made and there are clothes on the floor of every single room in our house. I wish I was kidding but I'm not. There is even clothes on our kitchen floor right now at the base of the washing machine, waiting to go in the next load. We are terrible at keeping on top of the housework and we both want to change that. However, I did notice something about our home compared to the homes of other adults and that is ...our stuff. Our plates are all chipped, none of the furniture matches one another, we have more stuff than places to put it and Jordan and I are sleeping in a little girls room. When we moved Vala and Flynn into our old room, we painted the room and made it nice for them but we left our room (Vala's old room) the same. We sleep in a room with purple walls, my little pony curtains and on a bed that is actually broken. Even our bedding doesn't scream "adults bedroom" because currently, it's purple plaid, I sleep with a 'V' shape pillow and the bed is never made. I never even gave a second thought about our bedroom or bedding until I saw a photo of my friends kids in her bed. They had pristine white bedding, with thick, soft and fluffy looking pillows and a proper bed head that wasn't broken or covered in melted caramel (thanks Vala). Seeing just my friends bed made me take a second look at so much in our home. Our home looks as though two twenty-one year old students live in it but not that two almost thirty years old parents live here with their two kids. I am genuinely embarrassed and ashamed of how we live. Even more so that our house is this bad and we're renting while our friends are out buying their first homes, buying matching furniture and putting deposits down on brand new kitchens.  If I want to start feeling like a proper adult, I need to start looking like one. 

Those are my three categories of adulting. In my opinion, they cover the three main basis of being a proper adult. You have your general common sense category of being a mature and responsible person with your finances. Your health category that improves both your physical and mental health. And of course your totally vain category that whilst being exactly that; vain, also does help improve your mental and emotional health. When I look like my age and not like I'm nearly thirty year old trying to be a twenty-one year old, I feel a lot better about myself. So I have a lot to work on and I've have so many plans to start work on from this month. However, this post has been long enough so I think I'll save my plans and ideas for another post at another time. Spoilers though, it will include a major spring clean, total overhaul of our lifestyles and a bit of a make over for us and the house. So be sure to keep an eye out for that post when it comes out. Until then, I am going to get off my computer now and trying my hand at some adulting. - Yeah I don't care if it's immature, I like the word and I'm going to keep using it. 

Until next time,
Alli xo 

  

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