Monday, 25 March 2019

10 things I want.

It's Monday again which means a new week is here and I want to start by touching on my post from last Friday, just a teeny bit. It was very full on and pretty hate and anger filled, mainly towards myself. It essentially contained a lot of the toxins I feel are in my life on a day to day basis. I wanted to start this week off more positive but it's a bit hard to go from a post like that to one that's all happy and essentially fake. So, instead I've decided to do a short post detailing 10 things I want in life right now. Some of these are totally far fetched and never going to happen, some are plausible and some are so silly and little but pretty achievable. So here we go, 10 things I want.

  1. To rid myself of depression, negativity and toxicity. 
  2. To win the lottery so I can solve not only my own financial problems, but my family and friends financial problems as well. (I especially want to help my parents pay off their mortgage.,as well as buy our first family home, get married and travel back to Australia to visit my family.)
  3. To be able to walk down my hallway without having to step over things or squeezed passed them.
  4. To be skinny and fit. 
  5. To be mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. 
  6. To finish my novel and be a more dedicated, disciplined and focused writer.
  7. Touching on number 6, I want my own writing desk.
  8. I want Jordan and the kids to be happy and healthy and to believe in themselves and to grow, succeed and follow their dreams without the limitations of self doubt and loathing that I've experienced for years. 
  9. I really want a dog.....or 2.....and no cats. 
  10. I want life to be a little bit easier. For example: If I clean the house, I'd really love it if my family could keep it clean for a little more than 24 hours. 

When I first sat down to write this post, I actually thought I would struggle to think of 10 things I wanted at this point in time but actually I had a harder time limiting it to 10 things. Because, I want so much more than just the materialist things like more money, a proper house, a beautiful wedding etc. I want to be happy....happier. I want to have a good nights sleep. I want to wake up and not feel tired. I want to get through an entire day without stressing out about anything. I want to be able to play with my kids and not struggle to catch my breath. I want to have the confidence to put myself out there. I want to improve on skills I'm trying to learn, like drawing and writing. I want to support small streamers, writers, artists etc. I want to help them pursue and achieve their dreams. I want their support too. I want to make life easier for my family whilst not adding more burden to my own. I want to help my friend get his own place and meet a nice girl (because I know that's what he really wants). I want the world to be a safer place. I want do more for our planet. I want to be greener. I want to smile and it not be fake. I want to write more positive posts and not feel the need to have a huge rant post like last week. I want to be the best role-model for my kids that I can be. I want them to be happy. My family is my entire world and I want to be so much more for them. I love them so much. I want to want all these things and to not feel so guilty about wanting them. Some things may come with time, hard work and perseverance, others may not. This is life and we can't have everything. 

Anyway, until next time,
Alli xo


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