Friday, 18 January 2019

Cancel everything!

Well, this is a post I didn't want to be writing but here goes. Yesterday evening I dropped a post about Jordan and I starting to plan our wedding. Less than an hour after posting that, he sat me down for some "real talk". He made a point of telling me that he doesn't think we can afford to get married just yet and that maybe we should wait. So now, with little say in the matter, our May 2020 wedding is postponed until further notice.

However, saying that, Jordan keeps telling he thinks we'll still be able to get married next May but it depends on how well we can sync up our finances. In other words, don't plan or book anything yet until I think we can afford to. He said that maybe in a few months time, we'll have successfully managed to combine our budgets (because we currently have separate budgets due to separate incomes and separate bills etc) and we'll be able to budget for the wedding properly and then we can start booking things and still have the May 2020 wedding. I have to keep reminding him that that's not how planning a wedding works. You can't just pick a date and then book things when it suits you. You have to book at least a year in advance for things like venues and photographer etc. The longer you wait, the less likely the date you want will be available at the place you want to get married and with the people you were wanting to hire. A concept he still didn't appear to grasp.

After our heated argument, leaving me feeling justifiably hurt at the thought of postponing the wedding, Jordan told me to ignore everything he'd said and for me to continue planning the wedding the way I intended to. I told him no. I have already planned one wedding with a man who dragged his heels through the mud at every single decision and I wound up almost calling off the wedding, ending up with a wedding that I absolutely hated and in a toxic marriage. I am not about to plan another wedding with a man who has dug his feet into the mud just 2 days after I started making plans. I want to get married next May but I'm not putting myself or our relationship through that stress if Jordan's just going to be anchor slowing everything down. We either work as a team or this doesn't happen at all.

So yeah, sadly, until further notice, the wedding plans are off and we may not be getting married next year. I hope that things change in the next couple of weeks but we'll see.

Until next time,
Alli xo


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