Friday, 30 November 2018

Final Breastfeeding Month

Morning again everyone! It is very early in the morning but I am full of cold and it is preventing me from sleeping so I figured I'd write another short blog post to make up for the ones I've missed over the past two weeks.

Ten days ago Flynn hit 11 months of age and so that began the final month of our breastfeeding journey. I breastfed Vala up her first birthday and not a single day more and I plan on doing the same with Flynn. However things are a lot more different this time around. With Vala, we had more of a set feed time which was first thing in the morning before breakfast. This is in the final weeks when she was only having one breast feed a day mind you. She started sleeping through the night from a young age, probably due to co-sleeping so we didn't have to worry about weaning her off night feeds. Flynn of course is different. He has baby porridge in the morning instead of my breast milk and only breastfeeds at night because he still wakes at least once in the middle of the night. Sometimes he ever wakes twice which results in him being fed twice. We've tried weaning him off night feeds by having me breastfeed him before he goes down for the night but he still wakes. We've tried comforting him when he wakes but not giving him breast milk but he won't settle again until he's fed. So whilst I still intend on ceasing breastfeeds after his first birthday, I don't think he's going to be as easy to wean as Vala was. She never asked for a single breastfeed after her birthday but I fear Flynn will.

I love breastfeeding but at the same time there are a lot things I can't do when breastfeeding; like treating a toenail fungal infection, take cold and flu tablets when sick, or even use a wide variety of diet and slimming products. For almost two years of my life, throughout the pregnancy and the breastfeeding, I've put all these things off and now I am really ready to start them again. I want to treat my toenail infection. I want to use my acti-labs slimming wraps and right now, I wish I could take cold and flu to help me sleep. I feel stuck between my own selfish desires to give up breastfeeding after Flynn's birthday and doing what is best for him. At a year old he can have cows milk and I plan on substituting any night time breast feeds with warm cows milk and hopefully that will enough for him.

I definitely do feel worse this time around than I did with Vala because with her, we were both ready to be weaned off breastfeeds but I still don't feel Flynn is and I feel bad that I am. I thought this transition was going to be easier and now honestly, I'm just sad about it. Guess we'll just have to see how things go.

Until next time,
Alli xo

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