Thursday, 25 October 2018

Wedding Planning: It begins

I never thought I'd be planning two weddings for myself in my lifetime. I'd always hoped that when I got married, it'd be for life. How naive was I? In order for it to be for life, first you need to marry the right person. I got that bit wrong the first time. Thankfully though, I quickly learned from my mistake and after nearly a full year of engagement, it looks like I'm about start planning a wedding with the right person. And I already have mixed feelings.

And don't worry, my mixed feelings aren't about the marriage; no; they are about the wedding. For you see, one part of me doesn't want a big wedding with lots of people there or any real fuss made because I have done it all before and Jordan and I already feel like a married couple, so why have an expensive wedding? Then there is other part of me. The one that still doesn't want a big flashy wedding but wants a wedding done right. So no getting an extended family member to take our wedding photos, no store bought flowers hastily put together on the wedding day, no dj hired last minute because previous plans fell through. No, I want it done right. That means an expensive wedding photographer who takes high quality photos. It means florist arranged bouquets. It means music chosen and booked months in advanced. It's having a dress bought and fitted in an actual bridal boutique rather than bought off ebay for £50 and not fitting correctly. I may want a small wedding but its still going to be costly. The wedding photographer I've got my eye on cost nearly £2,000 for the package I'm interested in. I am terrible at saving money, especially when I use most my money to try and clear off my credit card debt. I'm not sure how we'll be able to afford our small but magical wedding. I think Jordan will definitely need a better paying job and I need to stick to the budget I've drawn up for myself from next year.

I'm trying to prioritise what's most important to focus on what to buy/book first. Definitely dresses for myself and Vala, suits for Jordan and Flynn and the wedding photographer are my top three. The place to have the ceremony comes in forth with food/flowers and entertainment all squeezing in fifth. Jordan's parents once suggested we had the reception at their house and depending on the size of the guest list, that still might be possible.

I am really nervous about doing this whole wedding planning thing again but I want to marry Jordan more than anything right now and I want it done right. I feel very unprepared for it and even though May 16th 2020 is still a long way off yet, with how fast time is going lately, I know it'll be here before we know it. I've started making notes about what I want and like but I'm too afraid to buy or book anything yet because then we're committed to our date. No more changing the wedding date a hundred times. We'd have an actual deadline and I find that unsettling. Maybe I'm not mentally ready to go through the stress of planning a wedding again just yet but damn it, I'm ready to marry Jordan!

Just one detail at a time.

Until next time,

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