Thursday, 20 September 2018

Flynn Monthly Update: 9 months

Hey everyone, happy Thursday to you all! I pushed yesterdays post back to today because Flynn is 9 months old today! I cannot believe he is three quarters of a year old already! Time is going way too fast! It's going to be his birthday before we even know it and I am not ready!!!

How's Flynn Doing?

A lot has happened in the last month and
Flynn has developed so much. He now weighs 7.9kg (17lbs 06oz) which puts him just below the 25th percentile line. He is quite light for his age but he is a very active baby and eats quite a lot. Apparently his weight is in line with my genetics as my siblings and I all weighed between 16lbs and 17lbs 10oz at 9 months so he is just like his mum. He is putting the weight on though which is good to see after his major drop in weight last month. Also need to remember that Jordan is dad and he has a very high metabolism which I recently learned can be genetic. 

On top of crawling which he started doing last month, he is now pulling himself up and cruising. He says two words: "Dada" and "Dad". We're trying to teach him Mumma but his cheeky personality shines through when he smiles back at us and replies "dad". He still has ZERO teeth! He loves to play 'peek a boo' with us and often starts the game himself by smiling at us and then turning his head back and forth. He is getting better with bath time but only when Vala is in the bath with him. Sometimes he sleeps through the night, some nights he wakes multiple times for feeds. He has developed so much and hit quite a few milestones this month and Jordan and I could not be more proud. 

How's Mum Doing?

In a single word? Bad. I'm doing bad. I thought I hit rock bottom last month in terms of my mental health but this month and this past week in particular has been probably the hardest yet. I've been under a lot of stress this month and my sanity has not survived it. Just the other day, I did something I do extremely rarely... I opened up 100% to Jordan and told him honestly what was on my mind. All the things I'm usually too ashamed or scared to tell him started coming out and it didn't go well. It ended with Jordan getting overwhelmed and walking out and me drinking in the dark while contemplating leaving my family for their own good. Something I have since decided against. My mental state is not good but Jordan and I are working through it together. 

Physically, I am very unfit and I'm ashamed to admit that. Just walking up a hill yesterday and my normal pace, without the pram or any extra weight, left me struggling to breathe. I really felt like I couldn't catch my breath and the pain radiating from my ankle and up my calves was intense. It wasn't a good burn at all. It felt like my ankles were about to snap in half and my calf muscles were about to explode out my legs. There came a point where I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it home. But I did and when i got in, I collapsed in my chair, gasping for breath, sweat dripping down the sides of my face and my legs burning. I wanted to cry but couldn't. I'm really ashamed of how bad my fitness level has become. I want to fix it but now I'm even more afraid of going back to the gym.

So, pretty much Flynn and I have had opposite months. He has had a great month with a lot of development and growth and I've had a bad month with a lot of mental and physical struggles. I think Flynn's good month is the main thing that got me through my bad one. I can't wait to see what this month has in store for him. We love him so much and are so proud of him. 

Until next time, 
Alli xo

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