Saturday, 30 June 2018

Review of my self-esteem

So I promised myself that once we reached the half way point in the year, I'd take a moment to reflect on my self-esteem. Having started the year with none, I told myself that I would work on building it back up again. So how is that going?

Well in short, not the best. I honestly didn't think postnatal depression would be this tough. But it is and it completely rocks my confidence and self-esteem and constantly keeps me feeling unstable. I started the year off filled with determination and motivation to be the best me I can be. But as the PND grew, my determination shrunk. I became too tired and demotivated to go out for my evening walks and sugar become my comfort. My weight has been fluctuating and that doesn't help at all. A couple months back I built up enough enthusiasm to reactivate my gym membership. I thought going back and working out would help me get back into the swing of things. Instead it had the opposite effect. My workouts that were easy before pregnancy had become way too hard. I had to keep lowering the number of reps I'd do and the level of resistance or speed on the machines. Even once things were at their simplest, I still struggled and it was humiliating. It got to the point where the mere thought of going to the gym would leave me in tears and on the verge of a panic attack. Deep down I know I want to go but I'm too scared.

This month however, I've been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone in an effort of building up my self-esteem and confidence. By wearing clothes out of the house that I'd normally never wear and starting up streaming, I was trying to build confidence by other means instead of just resorting to working out at the gym. It's too early for me to say whether or not doing stuff like that is actually helping but I don't feel it's making me any worse. I've started trying to force myself to take more selfies as well and to look at them without picking out all my flaws (which is really hard.) Looking at all the selfies individually didn't seem to bother me but having them all together in the collage above, makes me feel really uncomfortable. I don't like looking at myself that much. A lot of negative thoughts are flying through my head right now but I'm trying hard to quieten those demons.

I still have a really really long way to go and progress is unbelievably slow. I'm not giving up on me yet though. I'm gonna kick this PND and my demons and one day walk outside with my head held high and a spring in my step. You just wait and see.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Recapping the first half of the year

I cannot believe we are on the final day of June already! Like seriously, where has this year gone? In my opinion, today is the official half way mark of the year and I decided to do a quick recap of the first half of this year for me and my family. The good and the bad as well what is still to come.

The Good:

Vala started swimming lessons.
I reactivated my gym memberships and returned to the gym.
Flynn is 6 months and is growing and developing with each passing day.
Jordan got back into streaming.
I got into streaming!
Vala got offered a school place and will be in a class with her best friend.
Blood work showed I don't have type 2 diabetes.
Nonna's 75th Birthday.
I filed for divorce!
Lots of fun visiting friends and family.
I signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo and NaNoWriMo.
I've made progress on my novel.
Rekindle an old friendship with someone back in Australia.
Made new friends.
Started weaning Flynn.
Tried new things with the kids such as Toddler Gym and Yoga.
Discovered I'm gonna have another niece or nephew next year!
Continued to have the greatest, most loving and supportive family in the world.

The Bad:

The daily struggles of Postnatal Depression 
Self-esteem and confidence remain extremely low
Some minor financial difficulties
Jordan returned to shift work with irregular hours
So much stress, anxiety and emotional pain.
My mental state has been affecting my relationships
Vala gashed her head and required a trip to A&E
Multiple family members have been diagnosed with terminal cancer
A dear friend passed away very suddenly.

Thing To Come:

Vala's Sports Day (July)
Vala participates in Race For Life (July)
Family trip to Wheelgate! (July)
Moving Flynn and Vala into one bedroom (July)
Camp NaNoWriMo (July)
Vala starts school. (September)
Flynn's first Halloween (October)
NaNoWriMo (November)
Flynn's first Bonfire Night (November)
Vala's 5th birthday (November)
Flynn's 1st Birthday (December)
Christmas! (December) 
Divorce being finalized! (date unknown)

There is probably a lot of things I have left off all three lists but looking at it all, I am glad to see that there has been more good things than bad things so far. And we have so many fun and amazing things still to come this year. I cannot wait to share these moments with you. I can't wait to decorate the kids new bedroom and share the photos with you all. I can't wait to take Vala to school on her first day. I can't wait to be singing happy birthday to Flynn as turns a whole year old. There's also other major milestones like Flynn's first steps, words, teeth etc that are still to come but may not necessarily all happen this year. Either way, I cannot wait to experience those moments with him. This post has made me feel really warm and giddy inside. I cannot wait for the amazing things still to come in the second half of the year. Next month is already crazy full of fun things to come. 

I sincerely hope that the first half of 2018 has been a wonderful, fulfilling and rewarding time for all of you as well and here's to the second half of the year!

Until next time,
Alli xo

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Monthly Challenge: June

Well it's safe to say that this month has been a more crazy portion of a roller coaster. You know the sections where you're looping and spinning around left and right, zooming up and down almost at the speed of sound? Yeah, it's one of those kind of months. Even sitting here looking back, it has just been one massive blur of tears, tantrums, fights, triumphs, laughter and love. But that isn't what this blog post is about. Nope, it's that time of year where I reveal what monthly challenge I set for myself and tell you all about how it went.

This month, I decided to challenge myself to do something that put me outside of my comfort zone. Even if it was just a single foot outside my comfy zone of safety. Well I'm proud to say that I did that. Not just once but multiple times. This month, I started streaming by myself, on my own channel. That took a lot of courage to do. The internet can be a hostile place at times, very judgmental and I don't feel I'm the most entertaining or even that great at video games but I still went for it. I did a total of four streams this month. One of which was only a short stream but Vala joined me and together we played a game called 'House Flipper'. You literally just clean up old houses, decorate them and sell them. Vala loves it. Thankfully none of my streams were met with any negativity and as a result, I plan on continuing on with it from time to time. Just a bit of casual fun really. Who knows, maybe one day I'll even get to 50 followers and become a Twitch Affiliate! Not that i'm aiming for that but it would be an accomplishment I suppose. If you're into gaming or watching people play games and you don't mind watching a crazy Australian be pretty bad at most games (and probably swearing like a sailor) than feel free to give me a follow by clicking HERE!

Moving on, the second thing I did that put me out of my comfort zone was wearing the outfit in this photo. The reason it put me out of my comfort zone is for three reasons. Firstly, my flabby bingo wing arms are on display. Secondly, whilst you can't see it, the skirt is actually knee length meaning my pasty white and thick calves are on show as well. Lastly, the outfit is not at all baggy. It is figure hugging and does not hide my mum tum at all. It felt strange just wearing it around the house but I wanted to really step outside my comfort zone so I took Vala to school wearing it and I picked her up and later as a family we went out for a walk to Tesco and after a while I forgot my arms and legs were on display and that my mum tum was noticeable. The following day I also wore a looser fitting but still knee-length dress (without tights on underneath) and went for a family walk and out to dinner in it. It certainly was a somewhat uncomfortable experience but I did feel "pretty" if you will. I still don't feel ready to be dressing that way all the time but once in a while might help with my confidence issues. Especially considering I got nice compliments from the mums at Vala's school.

So yeah, from streaming to wearing some new outfits, I definitely stepped outside my comfort zone this month and completed the challenge I set myself. I'm glad I did it. I think it was healthy for me to do and I'll probably keep pushing myself a little bit at a time to get out there and rebuild my extroverted confidence!

Until next time,
Alli xo

Wednesday, 20 June 2018

Flynn Monthly Update: 6 Months

I honestly cannot believe I am already saying these words... Flynn is 6 months old TODAY! I can't believe it! Half a year already! Time is flying by so fast and he's growing much too quickly. I want to enjoy the baby phase a little while longer but Flynn and time aren't letting me. He looks less baby and more toddler with each passing day and I don't know how to feel about it. I love seeing him grow but at the same time I'm so emotional at how fast it's all happening. To be honest, I'm in a little bit of shock that we're at this stage already!

How's Flynn Doing?

Flynn is developing and growing at such an alarming rate, this almost doesn't feel real. He now weighs 7.8kg (17lbs 03oz) and is 67cm tall (2ft 2.4in). We can already tell that he is going to be a right mischievous little man as he gets older. He isn't sitting up fully unaided yet as he is constantly wanting to move. He will not sit still at all. We know he can sit unaided because we've seen him do it but as soon as he realises what he's doing, he'll throw himself towards something. He now prefers to sleep on his tummy more so than his right side and with him spending so much time on his front, he's getting close to crawling quite quickly. He has worked out the legs and will sit there on his knees, bum in the air and face on the ground. However as he hasn't worked out the arms yet, he just shuffles forward little by little on his face. He has learnt how to move around in a circle on his belly though so we often find if we put him on his back to sleep, 20 mins later he'll be on his stomach and rotated 180 degrees in the cot.

He still has no teeth despite everyone telling me for the last 3 months straight that he is teething. He's not teething, he is just a massive dribbler! He also loves to squeak and talk and yell and giggle. He is a very VERY happy baby and smiles at everyone. He laughs at nappy change time and tries to shuffle away while giggling. He absolutely loves Row Row Your Boat and loves to bounce. Even to the point that he'll sook in protest if you stop bouncing him. He's a very snuggly baby, loves a good cuddle and milks all attention he gets. I can't believe how fast he is growing, he'll be off before we know it and I am not ready for that. He's growing too fast! Happy half a year my son. Slow down a little will ya, mummy and daddy want to enjoy the baby stage for a little while longer haha. 

How's Mum Doing?

Well apart from being in shock that I have a six month old son already, I'm still riding the emotional rollercoaster of hell. My mood moves up and down more often than a yo-yo does. Whilst I've gained confidence and motivation in some areas, I've completely lost it in others. I've not been to the gym all month because the thought of struggling while exercising in front of people reduces me to tears and I talk myself out of going. Last month I started joining Jordan when he streamed and I felt it bought us closer together. This month I started streaming myself on my own channel. I still streamed with Jordan though so we still got to bond and spend time together whilst I put myself out there for people to see and judge me on my gaming skills. I've also been a lot more motivated to write and the ideas seem to be flowing nicely now. 

Physically, it's pretty much more of the same. My body is fine, I'm just very very VERY unfit! I have been exhausted all the time lately though and I think that is due to low iron. I started remembering to take my postnatal vitamins again so here's hoping they help. Going to the gym just proved how unfit I really am. Even the most basic warm up leaves me struggling to breathe and dripping in sweat. It's actually really humiliating and the biggest reason why I've not been going to the gym. I'm not afraid of hard work but being surrounded by people breezing through their workouts while I struggle to breathe on the lowest possible setting is incredibly embarrassing. My last trip to the gym, I wanted to run out crying because I felt so crap about myself. Deep down, I do want to go back to the gym and work my arse off but mentally, I'm not prepared to humiliate myself in front of complete strangers...even if they're not actually looking at me or paying me any attention. 

Overall, as a family we are all doing as well as we can be. This month has flown by so fast that I don't know what more to add. It feels like I was only writing up Flynn's 5 month update last week! All time has just blurred together and I've lost track of days. I do however have a blood test tomorrow to determine whether or not I have type 2 diabetes so here's hoping I get positive results back from that. I'm really worried I will have diabetes. We'll see.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Monday, 18 June 2018

On the cusp of giving up.

Hey everyone

I hope this Monday is treating you all well. No one is suffering from the Monday Blues I hope. I am dealing with some blues though I don't think they're related to what day of the week it is. My mental demons are out in force today and have managed to conquer me.

I was supposed to be going to the gym today
as Jordan isnt working but in the time it took for my gym pants to dry in the dryer, my demons managed to break me down to a snotty, blubbering wreck. The last few times I've been to the gym, I've really struggled. My body is a lot weaker than it was before i fell pregnant with Flynn. I struggle to do even the most basic warm up at the gym. My heart races so fast and im gasping for breath, never feeling like I'm actually getting enough air into my lungs. It's physically too hard. What's more humiliating is the fact I can't dial it back and make it any easier than I already am. Most the equipment is on the easiest setting and I still struggle. It makes me feel ashamed, embarrassed and completely humiliated. I can hear the demons in my head laughing at me when I break.

At the moment it seems like my demons are stronger than my actual body is because they've managed to talk me out of going to the gym multiple times this month. As I write this, I'm currently curled up in bed after a good long crying session. I want to go the gym. I want to better myself. I want to be stronger. But I'm terrified and that's something I don't want. I don't want to be so afraid of exercising in front of people that I break down and start crying from the comfort of my bed. Jordan suggested I do cardio at home but since we live in a first floor flat, I know my weight will cause the whole floor to shake and the downstairs neighbours to hear every loud thud I make. Plus Jordan would see me or at the very least feel the house shaking and that is just as upsetting as the strangers at the gym seeing me gasping for breath, dripping in sweat after only 3 minutes on the cross trainer.

Right now I feel like my demons have won. I'm too scared to exercise around people or even in the privacy of my own home. I feel lost and right now I am on the cusp of giving up. I want to cancel my gym membership because it's wasted money if I just keep scaring myself out of going.

I hate myself so much right now and genuinely don't know how to get passed this. I....I don't know what to do anymore.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Sunday, 17 June 2018

Thursday, 14 June 2018

Filing for divorce.

Hey everyone!

I only just realised that I forgot to put a post up on Monday so here's a bit of a long-winded post for you to make up for the delay. So one post I wasn't sure whether or not to make was about me getting a divorce. It's not exactly a cheerful subject and it's been a long time coming but it is a big moment in my life so here I am to explain what is going on.

I married Vala's father back in October 2012 and our marriage was pretty short lived. In January 2015 I ended the marriage. Vala was just 13 months at the time. It was a very difficult and scary decision to make but it truly was a horrible marriage and a poisonous environment to raise Vala in. I lived with Vala's father for 6 months after the initial separation and it was really hard. My social worker had a chat with me about the separation and my reasons for ending the marriage and then grew concerned about me when she realised I had been a victim of emotional abuse from my husband. She immediately referred me to a therapist who worked with victims on domestic abuse and after a few sessions with her, I was onto a program called "The Freedom Program" which is to help victims of [any form of] domestic abuse identify their abusers tactics and how to recover and learn to move on without blaming ourselves.

The program was great and it completely lifted the veil off my eyes and I suddenly started seeing my husband the way my friends and family had. They'd told me multiple times that he was controlling, manipulative and abusive and I always defended him, saying they were wrong. It was in fact me that was wrong. Attending the program each week was hard though since I was still living with him and he HAD to always know where I was going, what I was doing, who I was seeing, and what I was saying about him. To this day, he still denies ever being emotionally abusive and that it was in fact me, that was the problem in our marriage. He knows that I never sought the therapy, it was referred to me without my say, by my social worker/therapist but yet still claims he was never in the wrong.

It took about a year after he finally moved out for things to become even remotely amicable between us. If it weren't for Vala, I'd have nothing more to do with her father and he'd be nothing more than a distant bad memory. However, for Vala's sake, I still speak to him and unfortunately see him (usually just via video calls) every so often.  He is the reason I never returned to Australia. He wouldn't let me go home and take Vala with me so I was forced to start a new life for Vala and I here in the UK. It goes without saying though, that staying in the UK was the best thing that could've happened. Being here lead me to meet Jordan and now im very happily engaged with another beautiful child to love. My life is everything I have always wanted. It's what I'd hoped my life would've been with Vala's dad when I first left Australia.

I planned to file for divorce after 2 years of separation (living apart), which was July 2017 but finances weren't great for him and as I was pregnant at the time, I didn't wanting to fronting the divorce fee by myself. So it got put off. Until finally, at the beginning of last month, the system changed so that I could file for divorce online rather than completing and sending off 3 identical forms. Online, I completed my divorce petition and paid the full fee within 20 minutes! It was so quick and stupidly easy. In less than a week, my husband had the papers arrive at his place and he'd signed and sent them off again. Now I'm just waiting for the Decree Nisi to come through, then waiting 6 weeks and 1 day to apply for my Decree Absolute and once that comes through, I will officially be divorced!

Finally closing this chapter for good and I can focus solely on my family. I can't wait!

Until next time,
Alli xo

Wednesday, 13 June 2018

Getting Over Fears: Vala's Swimming

Hey everyone,

So one thing most of you won't know about me is that there are a few silly things that actually have
terrified the crap outta me for quite some time. I wanted this year to be the year that I started getting over those fears. The three biggest fears I've had are; taking the kids swimming, getting my drivers license and learning to drive. I am proud to say that I've officially gotten over half of one of these fears.

Only half? You might be thinking and that is because I've only gotten over the fear with Vala not Flynn yet. See, Vala started swimming lessons 2 weeks ago after I took her swimming for the very first time ever, for her friends pool party. I still haven't taken Flynn swimming yet for the simple fact, I'd feel better having Jordan with us so we were taking care of a child each, rather than me trying to juggle both in the water. So that is why I am only half over this fear. Seeing Vala in the water during swimming lessons no longer scares me but instead, it makes me extremely proud and happy. She loves swimming so much and enjoys her lessons every week.

Whilst I am still a little nervous about how Flynn is going to be in the water (especially since he hates baths), I honestly can't wait to take him swimming with Vala and Jordan. We just need to find a time when they have Free For All swimming in the small pool at our local leisure center that doesn't clash with Jordan's new erratic work hours. Easier said than done unfortunately. I'm also planning to take Flynn is parent and baby swimming lessons once Vala is at full time school. I might even wait until he is a year old to do it, depending on how he reacts to being in the pool. We'll see. But I'm not afraid to do it anymore. I'm eager and excited and only slight apprehensive about taking Flynn swimming. I guess I'm more over my fear than I thought I was. Go me!

Until next time,
Alli xo

Sunday, 10 June 2018

Saturday, 9 June 2018

My bucket list

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday, I was feeling a bit under the weather. So anyway, the other day I was randomly looking through old files I had saved on my pc and deleting any that I no longer needed. That is when I came across my old bucket list. I updated it slightly by removing a few items that were no longer an interest to me and whilst I've not currently added any more to this list, I thought I would share it with you. Enjoy!

  1. Visit the Great Pyramids of Giza.
  2. Visit Machu Picchu.
  3. Be at the final stage of the Tour de France.
  4. Drink at Oktoberfest.
  5. Write a novel.
  6. Buy a house.
  7. Finish a university degree.
  8. Own a dog.
  9. Cage dive with sharks.
  10. Achieve my ideal weight.
  11. Complete a marathon
  12. Give a heartfelt surprise to someone.
  13. Do volunteer work.
  14. See the northern lights.
  15. Go on a road trip.
  16. Live abroad.
  17. Act in a film.
  18. Go glamping
  19. See snow.
  20. Become a published author
  21. See cherry blossoms in Japan.
  22. Fly in a helicopter.
  23. See the Mona Lisa in the Louvre.
  24. Get a tattoo
  25. Be on TV.
  26. Play paint twister
  27. Learn to cook...better.
  28. Build a snowman.
  29. Learn to drive.
  30. Sing Karaoke in public.
  31. Be in a theatre production.
  32. Go parasailing.
  33. Swim with dolphins.
  34. Ride a jet ski.
  35. Try Sushi.
  36. Walk through Japan’s tunnel of lights.
  37. Watch the sunrise.
  38. Hug a Koala.
  39. Go on a wine tasting weekend.
  40. Chase a storm.
  41. Stand under a waterfall.
  42. Meet someone famous.
  43. Take Pictures in a Photo Booth.
  44. Teach a Class.
  45. Drink at an Ice Bar.
  46. Attend a jazz festival.
  47. Go to Comic Con.
  48. Be a Member of a TV Studio Audience.
  49. Get a kiss from a seal.
  50. Experience a white Christmas.
  51. Sleep under the stars.
  52. Stay at a 5-star hotel.
  53. Spend a night in a blanket fort.
  54. Complete the 40-hour famine.
  55. Go Zorbing.
  56. Host a Christmas party.
  57. Visit Candi Borobudur.
  58. Eat a crepe in France.
  59. Watch my children get married.
  60. Complete a colour run

I could probably add more to this list if I thought about it but for the moment I'm happy with what I've currently got on there. How many of these are on your bucket list? Do you have a bucket list? If so, feel free to post it in the comments below and share it with me. There might even be some on your list that I'd love to add to mine, you never know. 

Until next time,
Alli xo

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Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Wake up call.

Hey there everyone,

Today I got a bit of a wake up call in terms of my health. Nothing bad....yet, however I received a text from my doctors informing me that I was due for my annual blood test. Thanks to the gestational diabetes I had when pregnant with Flynn, I am now required to have a blood test once a year to check whether or not I have developed type two diabetes. I had a 1 in 2 risk of developing it after pregnancy and are at higher risk of developing it later in life.

Now you're probably wondering why this appointment reminder was a wake up call to me and the answer is because I'd forgotten all about having gestational diabetes and being at a higher risk. I've been so consumed by my postnatal depression and making myself feel happier (with sugar) that I'd forgotten that my health was in a bit of a fragile state. I've been eating chocolate, ice-cream, cake etc like it's nobodies business. The text reminded me that I need to be making healthier choices and exercising more. I wasn't just trying to lose weight to feel better about myself, I was also supposed to be doing it to lower my risk of developing diabetes. I'm actually quite appalled by myself and how I let such an important matter slip outta my mind.

I spoke to Jordan about it and he has agreed that we, as a family, are going to have a total overhaul. Ensuring we all stick to the same diet/lifestyle changes will help keep me on track. It's a bit hard to change my own eating habits when those around me are eating all the things I'm trying to cut out. So we're going to have set meal times and lunch and dinner will be diabetic friendly meals (lots of protein, good carbs and vegetables). I'm not fussed about making breakfast diabetic friendly because I'm not tempted by sugary cereals so I don't see why Vala and Jordan should have to give up their cheerios or coco pops because of me. I'm setting to work on drafting up a routine for us, to help us be more active and healthier overall as well. For example, I'm going to dedicate fifteen minutes before Vala's bedtime to "family stretching". Vala's bedtime is 8pm, so at 7:30pm the TV will be turned off and as a family we will do a few yoga stances and stretches until 7.45pm. Then I'll ensure Vala has her teeth and hair brushed, pj's on and is in bed on time.

I know a lot of things have to change for us to be a healthier family but if we work together I'm sure we can achieve it. Not having set meal times has been a big set back for us. Especially dinner time. I usually want us to eat all together as a family so don't start dinner until Jordan is on his way home from work. Depending on when he left we were having dinner any time between 6pm and 7:30pm. His work hours are now more sporadic and I'm coming to accept that sometimes, he won't be home to have dinner with us as a family. So from now dinner will always be at 6pm whether or not Jordan is home. This does make me sad as eating together as a family has always been important to me (it's what I grew up with) but we need a routine and one day Jordan will have a new job that will allow him to be home in time for dinner. It'll also be a lot easier to get Vala to bed on time when we're not sitting down for dinner half an hour before her bedtime.

On top of everything else, I'm also looking in ways of improving my physical activity. Going to the gym on Jordan's days off isn't going to be enough. On the days Jordan does have work and the gym seems unlikely, I'm considering getting up super early in the morning and going for a brisk walk before Jordan has to leave for work. This will be an insanely hard task as I am not a morning person at all. I have always been a night owl and never been able to switch. Nonetheless I am going to at least try it and see how I get on.

So yeah, long post full of ranting but we've got some big changes coming our way and it's time I get my head in the game and change not only my life, but my family's life for the better.

Until next time,
Alli xo

Monday, 4 June 2018

Monthly Fitness Update: June

Hey everyone! Can you believe we're pretty much half way through the year already? Because I certainly can't. Anyway this months fitness update is going to be a bit different from all my last updates. Because I'm not weighing myself at all!

Current Weight: Unknown
Loss Since Last Month: N/A
Loss Since Start Weight: N/A

Now you're probably all wondering why I'm not weighing myself and thinking "why bother with a fitness update post if you have no weight updates?" Those are both excellent questions and the reason I'm not weighing myself if because I am taking a page out of Joe Wicks diet and lifestyle regime. He calls the scale the sad step and explains how the scales can be very misleading by not taking into account water weight and muscle. You also get a false sense of accomplishment at the beginning of your diet because you lose a lot of weight really quickly... that is just the water weight. You then become depressed when the drop in numbers starts to slow down, almost to a halt. It's at this point that the scale somehow manages to convince us you've plateaued and if you're like me, you give up thinking you've gone as far as you can go. You're then left feeling broken and disheartened thinking you'll never be the size you want to be. You go back to your old habits and pile all the weight back on (plus a little extra). This is why Joe Wicks strongly recommends that you don't weigh yourself when dieting. So I'm not. Instead he says the best way to track your weight loss is with regular full body photos and/or measuring various parts of your body; waist, hips, thighs, arms etc.

Now I can't go to the gym as much as I would like to at the moment due to Jordan's erratic work hours, Vala's nursery and taking care of Flynn full time. So I know weight loss for me will be slow to start with. For this reason I haven't decided whether to take monthly body photos or measure myself. I think I'll take a body shot to start with and then do monthly measurements, taking the odd photo here and there when I think I've lost enough to maybe see some difference. It will be hard for me to stay off the scales and honestly I think there will be the odd day here and there where I'll cave and check my weight but I'm not going to let the number on the scales consume me. I'm not dieting, I'm trying to change my lifestyle and the sooner I focus on being healthier, happier and more active, the sooner the weight will come off. I stress so much about the number on the scale that it probably prevents me from losing weight. The stress hormone Cortisol does prevent weight loss after all. 

So here is to another new approach. I feel very good about this approach and have seen first hand the effects that Joe Wick's books have had on people. I hope to one day be sharing my story just as they have shared theirs. 

Until next time,
Alli xo 

Sunday, 3 June 2018

Friday, 1 June 2018

Monthly Challenge: May

Hey everyone!

Now I know today is June 1st (seriously we're in June ALREADY? Where has the time gone?) but since my monthly challenge took up the entirety of May, my monthly challenge update was postponed until today.

I don't think I really need to tell you what last months challenge was do I? You've been seeing it every single day! But if by some chance you're new to my blog and haven't seen any of my previous posts, my monthly challenge was to write a post based off a random prompt every day for 30 days. It goes without saying that I crushed that challenge! Didn't miss a single day and still managed to get my monthly fitness and Flynn update posts in as well! I feel good that I completed it and it was a lot of fun to do. Might be one I try again at some point.

Before I go, I should point out that yesterday's post was my 100th post for the month! How awesome is that?! Mini-achievement victory dance time!

Stay awesome everyone!

Until next time
Alli xo
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