Saturday, 26 May 2018

30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Six

"Write about an area of your life you'd like to improve"

There are so many areas of my life that desperately need improving but without a doubt the biggest is the issue with my self-esteem. 

I think so little of myself and hate a lot of things about myself that this issue effects everyone around me. Vala has a friends birthday party today and it's at the local swimming pool. The invitation specified that a parent has to be in the pool with their child. Jordan is with Flynn which means I'm the one who needs to be in the pool with Vala. I am absolutely terrified of people seeing my pudgy, flabby body. My thunder thighs that house cellulite city along with my bingo wing arms. I bought a new swimsuit which has a swim skirt attached to it in hopes of covering as much of my legs as possible. I've debated wearing a shirt in the pool to hide the arms but have decided against it. I figure if my lunch lady arms are flapping in the breeze, they'll draw attention away from my legs which I am way more ashamed of. 

There was a brief time where I was considering declining the invitation and making up some excuse as to why Vala couldn't make the birthday party because I felt way too scared to be seen in a bathing suit in front of a bunch of mums from school, but that wouldn't have been fair on Vala. I desperately need to improve my self-esteem so things like this don't scare me. I don't want my children missing out on fun activities and awesome experiences because of my personal issues. That is why it is the biggest area of my life that I drastically need to improve.

Until next time, 
Alli xo
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