Monday, 23 October 2017

Gestational Diabetes.

Yes as the title points out, unfortunately I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I was incredibly angry to have failed my second GTT after finding it much easier to cope with than the first. My numbers were quite high and as a result I was sent to the diabetic clinic and now have to follow a strict diet to ensure my son stays healthy inside me and doesn't grow too large. I had a scan done and he was looking perfect as always and they estimated his weight to be around 3lbs 02oz which is actually 2oz lighter than they predicted Vala was at the same stage in pregnancy (29 weeks).

I've been given a kit to test the glucose levels in my blood before and an hour after every main meal. Six times a day I have to prick a finger, draw some blood and record the results. My fingertips feel bruised and each prick hurts a little bit more than the last. Thankfully I'm having a little break from it at the moment due to the fact I have run out of needles and the doctors kept messing my prescription up. So my fingers get a short break until I'm able to collect my prescription.

After learning I had gestational diabetes my mood naturally sunk even further. The tachycardia had been getting worse and I was spending most of my days in bed unable to do anything. Even the 2 min school run was more than my heart could handle and I needed to get my best friend to come stay with us for a while to help me get Vala to and from school. I was feeling completely useless and miserable and things like chocolate and biscuits gave me that little ounce of happiness. Now I'm not allowed either. No chocolate, biscuits. cakes, donuts, sweets, ice-creams, soft drinks, fruit juices, jams etc. Basically anything that gives you any form of happiness in the form of a minor sugar high is off the table for me. I'm pretty much living off peanut butter on wholemeal toast, eggs, chicken and vegetables at this point. My diet is incredibly boring and most unsatisfying.

It's really hard to keep to when I'm around other people as well. Went out for dinner with Jordan, Vala and my best friend Adam and whilst my dinner was perfect for my diet, I had to stick to tap water whilst everyone else had pepsi or fruit juices. It doesn't sound like a big deal but when your tastes buds are desperate for sugar and your loved ones are all consuming it around you, it's gets hard to deal with. It's also been made harder by the fact that I won 52 free milkshakes a day before my GTT. I have the vouchers but I'm not allowed milkshakes. I cracked and treated myself and Jordan to one when we collected the vouchers and then ignored my tachycardia by shopping and running errands for 2 hours to burn the sugar off. It worked, I was able to keep my glucose levels below the limit so apart from my heart and body struggling, I managed to get away with that treat.

The diet isn't the end of the world, it's just another thing that's making life and the pregnancy a bit sucky at the moment. I want to be able to go out with my friends and have a good time. I want to keep going to the gym and exercising. I want to play with my daughter at the park. But my tachycardia stops me. Now I'm missing out on having a different kind of fun by having to be super careful with my diet. Jordan and I attended a friends birthday party at a pub the other week and of course I had to drink tap water all night because I can't have alcohol and I can have soft drink either. It was still a fun night but having to turn down food and drinks because of the sugar content did dampen it for me a little. I can't just enjoy a situation now, I have to analyse how every action could affect myself and my son. Not to mention having to drag my diabetic kit around with me everywhere isn't exactly fun either.

Anyway, it's how it is right now and I have to accept it. I'm counting down the weeks until my due date even more now. I'm due in less than 10 weeks but thanks to the gestational diabetes, I know there's a chance he could be here in as little as 8 weeks time. Then again if all goes well and i maintain my diet, he could also be here in just under 12 weeks. Either way, I'm ready for the pregnancy to be over and for my son to be here. I want to be enjoying the pregnancy but the fact that the rest of life has been put on hold because of it, just sucks all enjoyment out.

Ahh well,
Until next time,
Alli xo

Sunday, 15 October 2017