Monday, 8 May 2017

Pregnancy Update: 6+1 Weeks

Well it's Monday again which means it's a new week and the start of another pregnancy week. I still feel I should be a lot further along than 6 weeks. I should at least be 8 or 9 weeks along but nope, time is dragging on. I think it's because Jordan told everyone straight away that I feel I'm further along than I actually am.

Wish I could say everything was going great on the pregnancy front but it pretty much isn't. I've become so disconnected from the pregnancy that I can't even believe there is a person growing inside of me. I just don't feel pregnant and therefore can't convince myself that I am and I certainly can't get excited about it like everyone else can. My current symptoms include; fatigue, mood swings, terrible breakouts all over my face and the constant urge to eat and urinate. None of those symptoms scream pregnancy to me. Of course my monthly still hasn't arrived, it is a missed monthly and there's still those four positive pregnancy test but I still don't believe that I am.

On top of being disconnected from the pregnancy, I'm slowly becoming disconnected from the world as well. I wake up determined to get stuff done and to hit the gym etc but once I'm actually out of bed, all motivation and enthusiasm just leaves me. I feel like all energy is drained from me and quickly become too tired again. The only housework that gets done at the moment is by Jordan whilst I curl up in a ball somewhere and sleep. I also don't want to be around people where I can't just relax and look a slob, meaning the nursery runs have become a waking nightmare for me. All I seem to want at the moment is to lock myself away in the house and sleep or relax. I don't want to do any housework. I don't want to do any writing. I don't want to exercise. I just want to lay down and do nothing because I'm always so tired both mentally and physically. I really hate feeling like this and don't know what to do. Jordan's worried I might be suffering from ante-natal depression but I don't think I'm THAT bad. I said maybe after we've had the 12 week scan and I've seen the baby, I might start to feel better but until then, I don't want to say anything to a health care professional because I don't want to be pumped full of anti-depressants. I'll mention it to the midwife whenever we get an appointment with her/him, if it's still an issue at the time.

So yeah, that's my week 6 pregnancy update. I feel tired, moody and dejected. I don't believe there is a baby inside me and I'm convince there will be nothing to see at the 12 week scan. Of course this could all just be hormones and maybe by next week I'll be feeling completely differently but who knows? I certainly don't.

Until Next Time,
Alli xoxo

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